...Our culture reflects our preoccupation with intimacy by using it as a focus for many of the most popular themes of novels, poetry, art, films, plays, TV dramas, soap operas and song lyrics. Some action thriller films are actually considered to lack dimension if there is no "love interest" juxtaposed with war, crime or other story.In our childhoods, we are regaled with tales of beautiful girls and handsome princes falling in love and living happily ever after, as if their appearance may make their fate inevitable - and deserved. In films we tend to see beautiful people falling in and out of love. Those less endowed with beauty are more likely to have film parts where they play a minor role to their more beautiful colleagues.

Standards of physical perfection appear to be higher for women than for men; males retain their allure despite some craggy or weather-worn features. In romantic novels, the heroine is often described in such a way as to make her appear physically faultless. With this in mind, we would be forgiven for thinking that beauty inevitably brings happiness within relationships. But even the briefest of analyses show that this is not the case. If you think of the happiest couples you know, beauty does not feature, at least not after the initial attraction. A glance through the popular celebrity magazines also reveals stories of heartbreak and divorce of beautiful people, rather than the "happy ever after" situations.

There are many people who do not wish to have intimate relationships, and lead happy and fulfilling lives without apparent need for emotional or physical contact. There are also those who say they are happy to "play the field", not being tied down, finding pleasurable friendships and liaisons when and where they can. There is really no fundamental right or wrong way to live, provided that respect and care for others and oneself is shown. Religious, cultural and health standards inform us of intimate behaviour considered to be acceptable or otherwise. Nevertheless, there are many differences in our preferred choices of lifestyle...

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